TV Review: Orange is the New Black

 

Unlike the character confusion of The Bridge, the new Netflix comedy-drama series, Orange is the New Black, is quite straight forward.  The first episode tells us the back story of the series.  Piper Chapman's world is turned upside down as her past life as a one time money lauderer for her lesbian lover catches up to her and she is forced to go for a plea bargain and just serve 15 months instead of 12 years. 

 

The series is based on the memoir of Piper Kerman, Orange is the New Black:  My Year in a Woman's Prison, which tells of her 13 month stay at the Danbury minimum security prison in Connecticut and surviving the quid pro quo environment of prison life.

 

The series stars Taylor Shilling as Piper Chapman, Jason Biggs as Piper's fiance Larry Bloom, and Laura Prepon as Piper's former girlfriend/drug runner Alex Vause. 

 

With the words lesbian and prison---expect some nudity.  Don't say I didn't warn you!  (As if you )wanted to be warned._

Is The Bridge Worth Your TV Time?

 

Just watched the first episode of the new FX tv series The Bridge and it left me at a loss as to where the character of Sonya (played by Diane Kruger) was coming from.  No back story on her character was presented so it was like---"Huh?" 

 

All I undestand so far is that there is a serial killer on the prowl whose motivation is the lack of justice in the Mexican town of Juarez.  Oh well, I hope the next episode will provide me with a better understanding.  I'll add on to my assessment after the next episode.

U.S.T.

Have you experienced U.S.T.?  Utot, Sabay Tae!  Oh, such an unpleasant feeling!  Take it from someone who have had this experience a number of times.  Yuuuuccckkk!  Well, that was the same reaction I got from my wife.  But truth be known, it is truly a yucky experience! 

 

Majority of my "events" was during my elementary years.  I had this habit of not taking a dump before going to school and too damn stubborn to use the school lavatory to do my thing like normal people do.  I guess I'm not normal.  However, now that I'm a grown man, I realized that it is a fallacy to claim that this "event" cannot happen anymore (especially if you have a bad case of loose bowel movement). 

 

The thing is, you don't realize it until after the fact.  Although I must admit that taking a fart is a relieving experience, beware the occasional release of something "extra".  Oh, be warry of that "silent release".  Aside from the fact that it can be deadly in a confined environment---deadly because you will likely be mugged once others get a whiff of your personal odor---this is the most likely time that a soupy, hot stream of feces will likey hitch a ride on.  Too much information, I know; but this needs to be made clear---there ain't nothing more humiliating than getting shit on your pants!

 

Moral of the story: 

• THINK BEFORE YOU FART.
• A pack of baby wipes is always handy to carry all the time.

 

 

Lessons Learned from the Story of Seabiscuit

For those who have not read the book "Seabiscuit: An American Legend" by Laura Hillenbrand or seen its 2003 movie adaption starring Toby Maquire, Seabiscuit was a racehorse who inspired hope in hearts of the depression plagued Americans during the late 30's. He was undersized and had crooked legs but despite this handicap became a champion racehorse and by the time of his retirement in 1940---Seabiscuit was horse racing's all time money winner.

 

All of us have our own handicaps to contend with but with the right values, hard work, determination, and the unwavering belief that life can be made better, we can rise from our difficulties.

As the Roman Emperor Hadrian said while building the Roman Empire, "Brick by brick my citizens, brick by brick." Success carries a hefty investment of blood, sweat, and tears. It is not handed to you on a silver platter for you to enjoy. I believe that the most fulfilling accomplishment is the one which you gave your best and most effort to. For an undersized horse like Seabiscuit, his anatomical measure obviously was not the source of his speed. The source of his speed was in his heart. As Charles Howard would comment, "Sometimes when the little guy doesn't know that he's a little guy, he can do great big things." This should be the same attitude we have in life. However bad the cards that we are dealt with in life, we are but a choice away from moving forward.

 

Sharing with you the quotes that would summarize the moral of Seabiscuit's story:

 

"Though he be little, he is fierce." (Red Pollard quoting Shakespeare)

 

"Sometimes, all somebody needs is a second chance." (Charles Howard)

 

"You don't throw a whole life a way because it's banged up a little bit." (Tom Smith)

 

"It's better to break a man's leg than his heart." (George Woolf)

 

"Everybody loses a couple. Either you pack up your things and go home or you keep fighting." (Charles Howard)

 

"For any man who have pride and ambition; if your dream is big enough and you have the guts to follow it, there is truly fortune to be made." (Charles Howard)

 

"Every horse is good for something." (Tom Smith)

 

"His (Seabiscuit) speed is not in his legs but in his heart." (Red Pollard)

 

Seabiscuit with Red Pollard.

 

Seabiscuit with owner Charles Howard.

 

 

Seabiscuit with Tom Smith.



Alodia Gosiengfiao for FHM Philippines July 2013

Sorry to disappoint you BatMans out there but you just have to contend with only a minimum skin exposure from Alodia in this photoshoot.  No skimpy lingerie.  No thong.  No finger licking.  It's Alodia in FHM.  Period.

 

I'm sure I just heard a collective sigh from the multitude of salivating admirers out there but you might just have to wait a little while longer before Alodia does a pictorial ala Jahziel Manabat or Abby Poblador!